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Helping ‘different’ kids thrive
Published November 7, 2009
As a wee boy, I crawled into an oversized doghouse to dognap puppies. I did it knowing that the smell of droppings would be ever so horrid. One by one, I handed the little guys through the doorway. I squirmed out after them into the fresh country air. Yea! I could play with them all day!
Perhaps that’s where I learned the wisdom of the old saying, “Take the best and leave the rest.” Now I say it to individuals who tell me a woesome tale about how difficult have been their pasts. “Pin an ‘I Survived!’ button on your chest,” I say to them. “Take the best and leave the rest, and step into a bright future that is of your choosing.”
Our family had about 52 chickens, and I had several of them trained. If I placed my hand in the air above them, they knew to squat to the ground and wait for me to pick them up. I often had a chicken under my arm, petting it.
I’d even go into their hen house at night while all were roosting on horizontal poles. They greeted me with a pock, pock, pock. I walked among them and petted them. They knew they were safe with me.
I remember one poor chick that hatched with a crooked neck and a whacked equilibrium. All day, the poor little thing turned round and round in one spot. I picked it up, steadied it and returned it to the ground. But round and round it went.
Many times, I returned to the chicken yard to see how it was doing. Not well. The other chickens picked on it and pecked at it because it was weak and different. I scolded them and shooed them away. To no avail, they pecked it to death. I wish I was old enough to have known to separate it from the “normal” beasts.
Perhaps that’s where I began to learn that creatures pick on “different” individuals. Today among what I suggest to parents of “different” children is 1) that they work closely with the schools to prevent verbal and physical assaults, 2) that they help the child have only a few considerate friends, 3) that they enable the child to develop distinctive interests that add special value to his or her life and 4) that the child be involved in an adult mentorship relationship where he or she is safer. (“Different” kids are usually safer in adult settings.) The mentor should do the coolest of activities with him or her.
Early on, I learned to be afraid of the chow breed of dogs. Well, at least, the two ferocious ones on Valley Forge Road.
To ride my bike to school, I had to pass by the home of one of those car-chasing chows. One afternoon, on the way home, it chased me, barking fiercely, trying to bite on me as I swiftly pedaled.
Screaming at it at the top of my lungs, I kept my eyes on the crazed canine to see if it was going to gnaw off my leg. I veered off the country road, and Bam! I ran head-on into the dog owner’s mailbox. On the ground, I was sprawled atop the post and mailbox, bicycle to the side, front wheel spinning, books and papers scattered, I looked for the chow. Vulnerable as I was I was glad to see it heading up the driveway to its master’s house … to tattle on me, I guess.
Perhaps that’s where I learned never to become so dominated by a problem that I take my eyes off my purpose. Now I say to those who visit with me, “Limit the damage past threats or mistakes get to do to you. Don’t allow them to vomit into your present or future, causing you to be so preoccupied that you lose sight of your goals.”
And I remind them that “God’s favorite creative act is to bring good out of bad.” I encourage them to turn it over to God and stand beside him to watch for the good that he ushers forth.
In addition from above, remember to take the best and leave the rest, step into a bright future that is of your own choosing and help “different” kids survive and thrive by being there for them in ways of wisdom. More next week.
Facts correspondent Buddy Scott is director of His Love Counseling Services in Lake Jackson.
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